Crazy Delicious: Monkey Bread!

Yes, my friends, this is monkey bread with a little "too much" sugar on that one spot.

Much to my shock, everyone does not know what monkey bread is. I'm not sure how this escaped people, but then again as one of those people is my father this brings up a good question - when did I first try this completely delicious sweet treat? Answer? Unknown! I'd insist I ate it as a kid except for the fact that my father seemed unaware to the existence of said treat and, well, I imagine he'd probably know something that I grew up eating.

Maybe Girl Scouts?

Side thought: I should remake a bunch of GS recipes. Not cookies, not yet anyway, but just the things I remember from camp and what not. As someone who ran units for long summers at a time, I think I can bring the vibe back and do it delicious and not-actually-in-that-hell-hole style. (sigh, sometimes I miss that hell hole...)

Well. Where it came from is not the point and the sheer, utter deliciousness is.

It is a pull apart bread, typically involving cinnamon and sugar and butter and biscuit/bread dough. And a lot of butter. I should tell you, this is NOT a low-cal snack. This is a "fuck bathing suit season, I'm hot enough!" sort of snack. And oh god, it's so good, you won't even care that you just consumed an ungodly amount of calories in one go.

Seriously. It'll be just fine.

Now, it is more than worth mentioning that there at multiple ways to do this. Sweet, savory, whichever. The Bristol does a dill and sea salt monkey bread that absolutely killed me. Oh, my lord, do I ever daydream about that dish. So much so, that I will point you to this video from The Bristol's website called Monkey Bread 101. Also, if you are in Chicago and have the means, I suggest you try out The Bristol.

I seriously consider going just for a cocktail and this bread. It would be worth it.

But back to MY culinary success, instead of theirs. It was my roommate Ali's birthday and we often speak of monkey bread in sweet, dreamy tones, so I knew exactly what to make. And make it I did!

To blow someone's mind, you will need...

- two tubes of (non flaky!) biscuits (or, you know, make your own little dough bits. use left overs. be better.)
- one and a half sticks of butter
- two teaspoons vanilla (or more, to taste. you like really vanillay things? flavor that shit UP yo)
- a few tablespoons sugar
- a few tablespoons cinnamon
- a dash nutmeg
- a dash clove (powdered, clearly)
-  one third cup brown sugar

How you will blow their mind....

Preheat the oven to 350F.

Get a bundt pan or a cake pan or a loaf pan or even a muffin tin! Maybe grease it just a tad, but don't worry. The butter will take care of this.

Mix the cinnamon, white sugar, nutmeg, and clove together.

Pop open the biscuits and pull into their individual biscuits. Cut each one into four pieces and shake or roll or whatever-you-like to coat completely, then chuck in the pan you are using.

Melt down the butter and add vanilla and brown sugar, stir until mixed, then pour over delicious biscuits. Put this in the oven for, oh, about a half hour. The bottom will be browned and delicious.

Let cool a bit, turn over onto a plate, and then watch an army of people consume all the food you just made in waaaaaaay too little time to be reasonable. Fight off others so any straggling roommates may have at least a single bite. Feel damn good about yourself. Be pleased that you have more biscuits in the fridge and can do this agian.

Mmmm. Monkey bread. Delicious.

Too much brown sugar/butter/mess-sauce!
Well. Not for a birthday girl.

I ended up with a half-standard size bundt pan worth and then a smaller, single-serving sort of pans worth.

This can be easily adapted, especially once you get the hang of how you like it, to fit any size anything. Also, I'm putting "kids" on here, if only because they would love to pull it apart and eat it. But also, it's pretty okay to do with them...says the ex-Montessori teacher, who gave her kids sharp things.

Whatever, just eat this. Nom!

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