It's good to be back!

 Shiny and delightfully tasty. You might be able to eat just one.

Maybe. Possibly.

Aw, cupcakes.

I used to be known for my cupcakes, you know. I mean, my friends still get excited when I say I'm baking a batch of them, but it's not as often as it used to be and honestly, it's not the first thing someone thinks of anymore and this is both good and bad. But it is what it is. The other day, however, I wanted to make cupcakes. Badly. So I thought about what I wanted and then I really went old school - I broke out the Elinor Klivans book cupcakes!

It's bangerang, kids. You should all get this.

I wanted something simple. Something that would make a bad day better, which sometimes means complicated and involved but on that day? No. Complicated and involved was a bad idea. So I went with the butter cake cupcakes and their sticky fudge frosting. The deciding factor to stay with the frosting? It's made from sweetened condensed milk. COME TO MAMA.

Plus. I had some really cute cupcake wrappers that my friend gave me.

Now, this recipe calls for cake flour, but you can make your own with some flour and potato starch. All the substitutions I read had corn starch as the thing to turn the tide, but as that would make me gross, it's not in the house. Potato starch, though, is. Tapioca starch would also be a good choice. It's one tablespoon of starch in a one-cup measuring cup, then enough flour to finish it out to an even cup, by the by.

Anyway. Everyone will love these, even if your oven is wonky and makes them bake a little unevenly like mine did.

 See? Just a little. It's still pretty bomb, though.

Ingredients:

- 1 1/4 cup cake flour
- 1 TSP baking powder
- 1/8th TSP salt
- 1/2 cup butter (one stick), room temp
- 1 cup sugar
- 2 large eggs
- 1 TSP vanilla (or an extra splash, it's okay)
- 1/2 cup milk (I used 1%, but it called for whole. damn cake is lucky I didn't use skim.)

Now. To make these delightful butter cakes you're going to want to first preheat your (hopefully not wonky) oven to 350 F. Pop your cake liners in your muffin tin.

Mix your cake flour, baking powder, and salt into a mixing bowl and set aside. In a large bowl, beat the butter and sugar until it's smooth and creamy - if you sneak a bite, I won't tell. Add the eggs one at a time, beating until blended, then add the vanilla and beat for about another two minutes. Add in the flour mixture in three additions and the milk in two, making the batter smooth and delicious. It should be just mixed together, ideally. But no one will hate you if you forget because you are ranting about, say, someone in your apartment and beat it a little more ferociously than intended.

Fill each cupcake liner with 1/4 cup batter, just to the 1/2 inch below the edge. Bake until the tops feel firm and a toothpick comes out clean, which should take about 22 minutes. Again, this means your oven? Is not a demon from hell. Lucky you!

I still like my oven for working at all, honestly.

Now. Put your cupcakes on a wire rack to cool.

Hop to the frosting! You will need...

- 2 oz unsweetened, chopped chocolate
- 2 TBS butter, at room temp
- 1 14 oz can of sweetened condensed milk
- 1/8th TSP salt
- 1 TSP vanilla

Put the salt, chocolate, butter, and sweetened condensed milk in a heatproof bowl or sauce pan and place that over another sauce pan of simmering water. Or, if you have a double boiler, use that. Stir constantly and cook for about five minutes, the chocolate and butter will have melted and the frosting will be smooth and thick. Remove from the stove and stir in the vanilla. Pour the frosting into a bowl and beat it for a few minutes (2 - 3) until it thickens a little more and cooks to lukewarm. This frosting needs to be a little warm to spread, so you're really just sort of cooling it down with this step.

 This is some glossy, delicious, frosting. Wowza.

Great with strawberries, I'd imagine.

Now frost those sweet little cupcakes! The recipe says use about two tablespoons on each one, I think I just put a spoonful on - I had frosting left over and poured it into a plastic storage container, chucked it in the fridge, and later used it in all manner of delicious ways. Including spoon-to-mouth.

You can let the cupcakes sit uncovered for about an hour, for the frosting to firm up, but if you eat one right away no one is going to blame you. I put mine in the fridge.

 One down, as many more as I can manage to go!

The recipe says you can store them in a covered container for three days at room temp, but honestly, I doubt that they will last that long. Too delicious!

Now, pour yourself a glass of the good stuff and enjoy.

Blackbird Blackberry Pie

 A completely delightful and delicious pie. 

That you totally want there to be four--and-twenty of.

Well, that's what Heather called it.

But it is made of blackberries and it is delicious and a pie and has a pie-bird in it. So she isn't wrong, but Heather's a bright girl, so of course she isn't wrong. She's awesome. So is this pie. It's delicious! And she thinks so too. So you should agree with her, 'cause my Heatherleh knows from deliciousness.

I basically wanted a pie on the Fourth of July. I didn't know it was the last day I'd feel not sick for over a week (I say over, 'cause I'm still not at peak form, in a few troubling ways, but I'm not as sick as I was two days ago, so YAY that's awesome) and so, despite the heat and my utter and complete laziness - which happens on any day I have off that I shouldn't - I dragged myself to the a nearby grocery store along with the rest of the freaking area.

I did manage, stunningly, to get a self-checkout pretty quickly. I can't even do that on emptier times.

This pie is simple. If you have a favorite crust recipe, please use it! Or a pre-made crust. It's fine. Mine is simple - I just mix a stick of softened butter with around a cup and a half of flour, a dash of salt, and a half cup of sugar. If it is too crumbly, I mix in two TBS of ice water. Then I ball it up, flatten in it plastic wrap, and chill it for about a half hour.

Divide in half. Roll it out, place it on the bottom of your buttered pie pan. OR press it in the bottom of a buttered pie pan if, like me, you a) don't have a rolling pin and aren't in the mood to clean off a bottle or something and b) the dough is soft enough that making bits of dough flat in the bottom of the pan makes sense.

Put the other half back in the fridge.

Take

- two packets of blackberries (or raspberries or blueberries), rinsed with bad ones removed
- 1/4 cup sugar
- two TSP vanilla

and mix together in a bowl. If you aren't in any great hurry, let that sit for about fifteen minutes to a half hour, but never mind if you don't - I rarely do and it's never bothered anything. Pour the mixture into your pie crust.

If you have a pie bird, put in in the center.

Roll out the other half of the dough and place around the pie-bird or, much as before, flatten out and put the dough on top the pie around the pie-bird by hand. It'll look rougher, but that's okay. It's rustic! Sprinkle the crust with sugar, barely.

 Looks pretty tasty, if you ask me. 

And you sort of it, by reading this blog.

If you did NOT use a pie-bird, then cut some slits in the crust or designs or something. It'll let the steam escape. If you have it, you still can if you want to, but you needn't.

Bake at 375 F for approx 35 mins, until the crust is golden. Let sit and cool, so the pie can gel.

Slice and serve with whipped cream or ice cream or by itself. Be delighted!

OPTIONAL: You can buy tapioca and mix some of it in with the berries, if you want more of a fruit-gel around your fruit.

Pastel de Tres Leches con Fresas

Lordy lordy look what is insanely delicious....

I loved The Pioneer Woman before, but good lord. This cake. THIS. CAKE. 

I've heard of Tres Leches cake before and I'd thought about it from time to time, but I'd never had it. For about two weeks, though, it has been on my mind. Oh, my, how I wanted this cake. Finally, an early morning jaunt about in a mist of rain led me to Aldi, where the low low price of sweetened condensed milk told me that, well, today was a good a day as any other.

So, between that and the iced vanilla coffee that I'd gone there for, the brioche from the Red Hen Bakery, and some bacon...I was ready to experience the wonders.

I halved the recipe from The Pioneer Woman (while using three egg whites/egg yolks) and then made a quick whipped topping out of whipping cream and sugar, with sliced strawberries on top. Here are the measurements for the whole cake, rather than my halving. 

• 1 cup All-purpose Flour
• 1-½ teaspoon Baking Powder
• ¼ teaspoons Salt
• 5 whole Eggs
• 1 cup Sugar, Divided
• 1 teaspoon Vanilla
• ⅓ cups Milk
• 1 can Evaporated Milk
• 1 can Sweetened, Condensed Milk
• ¼ cups Heavy Cream

 Now.

You want to set your oven to 350 F.

Beat the yolks with 3/4 cup of sugar until it is pale yellow, then stir in the milk and vanilla. I actually used soy milk, as we were out of cow milk, and it was delicious.

In a separate bowl, mix the flour, baking powder, and salt. Pour the yolk-milk mixture over this and gently mix together.

Now, beat your egg whites until soft peaks form. Pour in the remaining sugar and beat until the peaks are stiff, but not dry. Fold this into the batter. Pour into your prepared pan (9 x 13 inch, buttered or sprayed or whatever) and then bake for 35 to 45 minutes until a toothpick comes out clean.

This smelled incredible. 

Seriously.

I may or may not have later broken off a teensy-tinsy bite.  

Now, put it on a cooling rack to, you know, cool.

While it is cooling, mix together the sweetened condensed milk, the evaporated milk, and the heavy cream. I didn't used the entire amount, I just mixed in equal parts - about a half cup of each - and then mixed it together.

Move the cake to a rimmed plate or something. Use a fork to prick the top of your cake a bajillion times and then pour this mixture liberally over the entire cake - be sure to get the edges!!

 Look at that cake, half drowned. It's already soaked up a lot.

At this point, I wanted to just dig in.

It'll pour around the cake but the cake just soaks it right up. You'll see.

While it does that, make your whipped topping. If you want to top it with fruit or not, that's up to you. Either way, this baby is DELICIOUS. Seriously. It stays moist and tasty for days, although it was epic willpower that kept me from eating this whole thing in the first twenty-four hours.

 Even at this point, you could just eat it all. Seriously.

I am going to make this a billion more times. I can't wait to experiment with it, but also just to really enjoy this recipe. It's so easy and delicious! Enjoy!!

Ali, Cake, and Limited Time.

I have a roommate named Ali.

She is moving out soon, but she's still our friend and for now! She is still our roommate.

She also likes to bake. And craft. And dance. We all get along and she and I have a tin-can phone between our rooms, since we share a wall, and a joke about how we must share brainwaves.

Recently, Ali made this cake! It's a delicious orange flavored cake with a chocolate frosting with pecans decorating.

It's even two colors!

She's a very wonderful baker. And while I don't have the recipe for this, I thought I'd share. I'd say this is a yellow cake with orange flavor. I know the chocolate frosting is more a ganache - she melted down chocolate and blended it in heavy whipping cream. DELICIOUS.

Believe me, this was amazing.

I'm trying now to get the recipe from her, but this is still pretty! :)

Happy Birthday, Matt!

Completely delicious! 

Oh yes, a birthday marvel.  

For ages now, I've made cupcakes for Matt's birthday (and for others as well) and this year was no exception. I ask what he wants and he gives me a flavor profile, usually, and this year he asked for lavender and vanilla and macadamia nut. He was slightly more specific, but I know him and his tastes and knew exactly what to do. 'Cause that's how we roll, here. With understanding.

Now, macadmia nuts - as pricey as they are - come in bulk at Whole Foods and so I was able to get just a handful of them. My dad had given me loads of dried lavender when I was in Ohio last, so I had that, and so it was really just a simple matter of how I was going to do it without having that soapy-lavender taste that happens. Since only one person called them "bubble-bath-cakes" (although, they did say they were the most delicious "bubble-bath cakes I've ever had"), not to mention that people really killed these and the birthday boy himself apparently ate four of them...

A win!

And simple.

To make the lavender butter, simply take your dried lavender and use the flower bits, not the stems or sticks, and chuck it in a saucepan of melting butter. I did about two tablespoons, but maybe a little less would be fine. I used one stick of butter.

Mmmm...naturally dried lavender and delicious butter.

My father is so proud. 

Melt down, turn heat to super low, stir and make sure it doesn't burn while you cook it for ten to fifteen minutes. Strain. You can use cheese cloth or a seive or something - I had a tea strainer that was mug-sized, so I used that and pressed the lavender with a spoon to get all the butter out.

TA-DA! 

Lavender butter! 

Now.

- one stick of lavender butter, melted but cooled
- one cup of flour
- half cup of sugar
- one vanilla bean
- pinch of salt
- teaspoon baking powder
- two eggs
- splash of milk (if the batter doesn't come together)

Now. Mix all those together. I did the butter, vanilla, and sugar first. Beat until combined, then add the eggs and beat. Add the flour and baking powder and eggs and beat again. If not battery, add milk.

You should have a delicious batter! Taste it and see if it needs anything - more sugar or vanilla are the likely culprits.

Pour into baking cups in your muffin pan and cook at 350 F for about twenty-five minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean.

For the frosting

- one stick of softened butter
- splash vanilla
- chopped up macadamia nuts
- one and half  to two cups powdered sugar

 BEHOLD!  

Blend on high util the butter and powdered sugar is creamy, add vanilla and macadmia nuts. Blend. If too thin, add powdered sugar. Taste. Now. If it is too sweet, either add a little more butter and/or splash in some milk. If it is too buttery, add some powdered sugar.


When the cupcakes are cool, frost and give to pleased individuals.

Unbaked

Still delish.

And of course feel free to use adorable cupcake holders....

 

They really add something, if you ask me.

Then again. I'm always looking for cute ones. Even if I don't get a direct chance to use them!

Ultra Tasty Brownies

This is delicious. 

A terrible picture, but a delicious brownie.  

Good Golly, Miss Molly!

I'm not actually sure I know anyone named Molly. I know of Mollys. I used to work at Camp Molly Laumen (remember that, it'll come back). Molly Ringwald is pretty cool, although she is second fiddle to Ally Sheedy (sorry, Mol, but even being a fellow ginger can't save you here).This is off topic.

You know what I did, after three days of baking cookies? First, I reminded myself that it's ridiculous to make so many cookies just because I'm working out and then I thought that it didn't matter and so today I made brownies. Do you see the logic there, 'cause I do not.

This did not stop me from making brownies. Delicious brownies. More fudgey and chewy, not dry and ridiculous. It's a nearly perfect brownie. In fact, it might even be the lock-it-down brownie. Might. Only time will tell.

Time and my dress size, yikes, brownies. Delicious! I should find a CYT Recipe for them. Hm. Things to do.

Anyway, these are pretty delicious.

Ultra Delicious Brownies (this was adapted from Diamonds for Dessert) 

- 1 2/3 cup sugar
- 3/4 cup butter, melted
- pinch of salt
- 1 1/3 cups flour
- 3/4 cup cocoa powder
- 2 eggs, beaten
- 3 TBS milk
- 2 TSP vanilla
- 1/2 TSP baking soda
- handfuls of chocolate chips (optional)
- handful of butterscotch chips (optional)

Preheat oven to 350 F.
Prepare a baking dish by buttering a baking pan -I used a     pan, but if you want thinner brownies feel free to use a larger one.

Mix the sugar with the butter and beat, then add the egg and beat. Mix in the vanilla. Then mix in the cocoa powder, baking soda, and flour. Combine, add milk, mix, add the chips (or nuts or whatever) if using and stir stir stir.

Pour in the pan.

Bake for about twenty minutes or until a knife comes out slightly sticky. Slice or use cookie cutters or just get some forks and eat it out of the pan. Whichever.

My roommates LOVE it. As in, this pan didn't last a full twenty-four hours. So, that's a plus. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to cuddle with my cat and then work off these brownies.

C is for Cookie, that's good enough for me.

I could probably eat all of these just like this. 

Thankfully, I have more sense than this. 

Or, um, maybe I just ate too much cookie dough... 

There are probably one millionty billionty chocolate chip cookie recipes out there, making up a not-as-large-as-you'd-think chunk of the over all zillionty types of cookies that exist. Say what you will for the humble cookie, my favorite probably is the chocolate chip and so that is what I have been making lately. I made the traditional Toll House recipe. I made something that very closely resembles that recipe. I made the standard chocolate chip from my 1,001 cookie recipe cookbook.

My aunt got me this cookbook for Christmas this year. This thing could seriously keep a girl busy and, well, I do like to read it. I've even got a short list of things that I was especially "oh, gotta make that" about although it's slow to grow because I can't exactly write most of the book in. (or...can I?) I like cookies. Who doesn't?

Good thing I worked out so much this week, wow. Cookies.

Anyway. The recipe I'm giving you is not, by any means, the only one out there. It's not even the best one out there. But it is pretty tasty and it's what is in the picture, above. My advice? Make lots of them, figure out your favorite recipe, and repeat with a new style of cookie. Stop whenever you eat one and think "yep, okay, this is it, success!" because what matters here is your enjoyment of said cookie.

Chocolate Chip Cookies

- 1 cup flour
- 1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
-  dash of salt
- 1 stick (half cup) of butter, softened
- 1/4 cup sugar, plus two tablespoons
- 1 egg
- 1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla
- 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon (or try another spice of your choice!) (optional)
- 6 oz chocolate chips (or semi sweet chocolate, chopped) (or, um, what is left in the bag of chocolate chips that you've been eating for a few days....)

Preheat the oven to 375 F and butter your cookie sheet.

Mix the butter and sugar together until combined, then add in the egg and vanilla and combine again. Mix in the flour, salt, cinnamon, and the baking soda, then stir up nicely. Add chocolate. Mix mix mix. Taste, determine what is missing (if anything) and play with to your heart's content.

Place a spoonful of the dough on the cookie sheet and lightly press down a bit on the top. Repeat, keeping a little distance between the cookies (about an inch). Bake for about seven to ten minutes or until golden brown. Place on cooling rack.

When you don't think you'll burn your mouth, shove a cookie in it and drink delicious milk.

This is also a fabulous breakfast with coffee. By "fabulous" I mean "delicious", but there are healthier choices.

Peanut Butter Pie with a Pretzel Crust. You know you love me.

 The single serving size, if you ask me. Oh so delicious.

I made this a while ago (oh, hello theme) but, clearly, never got around to posting the recipe. I'm not sure why.

The recipe was delicious! I'd been wanting pie for ages (and, in fact, want pie right now. oh man and I have some reeeeeally awesome pie recipes I'd like to try so I'm relatively certain that when Pie Making Fever hits, nobody is gonna want the cure) and was perusing the world wide web for new ideas. And lo, there it was. Peanut Butter Banana Pie! With a pretzel crust! How delicious sounding!

The original recipe was found on Once A Chef Always A Chef. And to see it, you should click that link.


Now. That pie looked real good and I have no doubt at all that it was, but it wasn't the pie I made exactly. No, I tinkered a little - such as there were no bananas. I like bananas. I don't think anyone here doesn't, but we didn't have any, and that usually ends the discussion at eleven at night when I will be damned if I am going over to Jewel for something like bananas.


That and some other small changes and I still was pretty pleased with my pie. Was it everything I wanted? Well. I've been wanting either a coconut cream pie or, you know, a coconut cream pie (or, lately, for me to discover a way to make a Fiona Apple Pie that totally makes sense for it to be called that and not just an apple pie cleverly named and by golly, I'ma gonna find a way...) so in that respect, no. Because it wasn't a coconut cream pie. But I adored it and it was happily devoured by all. So I'm going to go with Success on this one.

Also, this crust is freakin' amazing.

Crust:

- 2 1/2 cups pretzels, crushed. Like, really really really crushed up. Don't skimp on this. It matters. You don't want chunks.
- 3 TBS brown sugar (that was my intention. it became molasses/white sugar. with a little more molasses. see: previous comment about the damn Jewel)
- a dash of vanilla (optional.)
- 3/4 cup melted butter


Combine all the ingredients and mix well. Delicious, hmm? Save a little for crumbling on the top of the pie if you like. Spread in pie pan, keeping it even and working all up the sides. I had enough for what I imagine is a standard sized pie pan (not deep dish) and two little tartlets. Oh, god, the adorableness...

Anyway. You'll want to chuck those babies (gently) in a 350 F oven for around ten minutes. Let the crust completely cool before you fill it with the delicious filling.

The Delicious Filling:

- 3/4 cups creamy peanut butter
- one package of cream cheese at room temp (three oz)
- 1 1/4 cup powdered sugar
- one container of whipped topping (twelve oz), thawed (okay, here I used spray whipped topping. because I am allergic to CoolWhip. I'm sorry. No, I really am, I really want to eat some of that right now.)


Combine the peanut butter and the cream cheese. Add about a third of the whipped topping and the powdered sugar and beat that mixture like a redheaded step-child. (you do know I'm a redhead, right? so I can say that.) You want a smooth blended peanut butter delight, so do this right. Then sweetly fold in the rest of the whipped topping until they all get along. Put in the crust.

You can top this with whatever you want or add something in the middle like, well, the original recipe said bananas but I imagine loads of things would work. Anything chocolatey would have been a great welcome, but that's just me. This doesn't even need it.

Just like it didn't need the extra whipped topping I ate on top of it. But, oh man, did I ever.

Chill the pie for a few hours before serving. Overnight, if you like. It's totally fine.

Either way, you're gonna really like this. I'm imagining.

Crazy Delicious: Monkey Bread!

 

Yes, my friends, this is monkey bread with a little "too much" sugar on that one spot.

IF SUCH A THING EXISTS. 

Much to my shock, everyone does not know what monkey bread is. I'm not sure how this escaped people, but then again as one of those people is my father this brings up a good question - when did I first try this completely delicious sweet treat? Answer? Unknown! I'd insist I ate it as a kid except for the fact that my father seemed unaware to the existence of said treat and, well, I imagine he'd probably know something that I grew up eating.

Maybe Girl Scouts?

Side thought: I should remake a bunch of GS recipes. Not cookies, not yet anyway, but just the things I remember from camp and what not. As someone who ran units for long summers at a time, I think I can bring the vibe back and do it delicious and not-actually-in-that-hell-hole style. (sigh, sometimes I miss that hell hole...)

Well. Where it came from is not the point and the sheer, utter deliciousness is.

It is a pull apart bread, typically involving cinnamon and sugar and butter and biscuit/bread dough. And a lot of butter. I should tell you, this is NOT a low-cal snack. This is a "fuck bathing suit season, I'm hot enough!" sort of snack. And oh god, it's so good, you won't even care that you just consumed an ungodly amount of calories in one go.

Seriously. It'll be just fine.

Now, it is more than worth mentioning that there at multiple ways to do this. Sweet, savory, whichever. The Bristol does a dill and sea salt monkey bread that absolutely killed me. Oh, my lord, do I ever daydream about that dish. So much so, that I will point you to this video from The Bristol's website called Monkey Bread 101. Also, if you are in Chicago and have the means, I suggest you try out The Bristol.

I seriously consider going just for a cocktail and this bread. It would be worth it.

But back to MY culinary success, instead of theirs. It was my roommate Ali's birthday and we often speak of monkey bread in sweet, dreamy tones, so I knew exactly what to make. And make it I did!

To blow someone's mind, you will need...

- two tubes of (non flaky!) biscuits (or, you know, make your own little dough bits. use left overs. be better.)
- one and a half sticks of butter
- two teaspoons vanilla (or more, to taste. you like really vanillay things? flavor that shit UP yo)
- a few tablespoons sugar
- a few tablespoons cinnamon
- a dash nutmeg
- a dash clove (powdered, clearly)
-  one third cup brown sugar

How you will blow their mind....

Preheat the oven to 350F.

Get a bundt pan or a cake pan or a loaf pan or even a muffin tin! Maybe grease it just a tad, but don't worry. The butter will take care of this.

Mix the cinnamon, white sugar, nutmeg, and clove together.

Pop open the biscuits and pull into their individual biscuits. Cut each one into four pieces and shake or roll or whatever-you-like to coat completely, then chuck in the pan you are using.

Melt down the butter and add vanilla and brown sugar, stir until mixed, then pour over delicious biscuits. Put this in the oven for, oh, about a half hour. The bottom will be browned and delicious.

Let cool a bit, turn over onto a plate, and then watch an army of people consume all the food you just made in waaaaaaay too little time to be reasonable. Fight off others so any straggling roommates may have at least a single bite. Feel damn good about yourself. Be pleased that you have more biscuits in the fridge and can do this agian.

Mmmm. Monkey bread. Delicious.

Too much brown sugar/butter/mess-sauce!

Well. Not for a birthday girl.

I ended up with a half-standard size bundt pan worth and then a smaller, single-serving sort of pans worth.

This can be easily adapted, especially once you get the hang of how you like it, to fit any size anything. Also, I'm putting "kids" on here, if only because they would love to pull it apart and eat it. But also, it's pretty okay to do with them...says the ex-Montessori teacher, who gave her kids sharp things.

Whatever, just eat this. Nom!

Valentine's Day of the Tiger

 

Yeah, I gave someone those. 

Not the really awful looking ones, clearly. 

Delicious though. Very light. Sugar! Nom. 

Valentine's Day was also Lunar New Year this year, which played right into my hot little hands because this year I had an idea to make something cool and holiday appropriate, 'cause I'm sweet like that. Plus, I'd given fortune cookies a go ages and ages ago and learned some valuable lessons in my failure.

I learned that the dough makes a fantastic apple pie crust.

I learned also that I hated life.

But I've grown! I've learned! I've made tuilles! I've discovered patience I didn't know I had!

Well, now I've learned new lessons. Such as it is damn fucking hard to make these buggers. But filled with fortunes like "Give Beth a present!", "You will eat a delicious cookie.", and other things for my friends and then sweeter ones, cleverly, rolled up instead of folded...

Yes, much better.


I think next time I'd involve star anise and a few other things, but we'll see. This drove me insane. Ha ha.


Fortune Cookies of Stress (but delicious stress),from The District Domestic's recipe.


- three egg whites
- 3/4 cup sugar
- 1/8 tsp salt
- 1/2 cup butter, melted
- 1/4 tsp vanilla (I used more. god, I love vanilla.)
- one cup flour

Preheat the oven to 350.

Mix all ingredients together, chuck dough in the fridge for around fifteen (I did longer) minutes, then put a spoon of batter on a well-greased cookie sheet. Spread it around thin, very thin, until the diameter is three inches. Cook for five minutes (browned edges).

Now, be quick here, and put your fortune in the cookie before you either a) roll it up like I did or b) fold it like a fortune cookie. Use a muffin pan to help shape these babies while they cool.

And best of luck to you, strangers, as you attempt this.

If you don't need it, please god tell me the secret!

If you do, then you, like me, will likely just really enjoy the fun of this.

Peanut Butter Dream Bars

Ahhh....back to the regular me.

So, I was making those gift bags of treats and included a recipe from the Cook Yourself Thin cookbook. Now, if you have a corn allergy, you will want to double check all low-fat items...but you already knew that. PB is wicked for allergies, you can't do cheap, and I ended up with a creamy Peter Pan that was NOT reduced fat, as the recipe calls for. But otherwise, it's still pretty spot-on.

And seriously, so good. I highly recommend this.

The Suspiciously Slender Cast

- 1/2 cup low-cal chocolate wafers (ground)
- 1/2 cup old fashioned oats (side note: I always forget I like oats. Then, suddenly, I remember again. This was one of those times)
- 1/3 cup powdered sugar
- 1/2 tsp salt
- 3 tbs butter, melted and cooled
- 1/4 cup reduced fat peanut butter
- 2 tsp vanilla
- 1 1/2 oz reduced fat cream cheese (at room temp)
- 2 tbs chocolate chips, melted

Their Own Personal Bootcamp:

- Line a loaf pan with wax paper (with an overhang). Great, you prepped the pan!
- Combine the ground wafers, oats, sugar, and 1/4 teaspoon salt in a bowl. Stir in butter. Stir in one tablespoon of the peanut butter until the mixture forms large clumps. Press those clumps into the tin, making a layer, and chuck it into the fridge for about ten minutes.
- While waiting for this to become firm, carry on by beating the cream cheese until smooth and fluffy. Add vanilla, three tablespoons of peanut butter, and 1/4 teaspoon salt and beat until pale and nearly twice the original volume. You'll want to spread this on the cookie-crust you just made. Then let it firm up in the freezer, which also takes around ten minutes.
- When that is set, spread the melted chocolate in a thin layer on top and - you guessed it - abandon to the chill for another ten minutes while it sets.

This should serve eight people at a low 157 calories per serving.

Also, this should be insanely delicious. You'll have a whole new respect for those CYT Girls. I know I do!

Gingerbead House: Christmas with The Daring Bakers

The December 2009 Daring Bakers’ challenge was brought to you by Anna of Very Small Anna and Y of Lemonpi. They chose to challenge Daring Bakers’ everywhere to bake and assemble a gingerbread house from scratch. They chose recipes from Good Housekeeping and from The Great Scandinavian Baking Book as the challenge recipes.

And I, of course, posted it late. Not only that, but the photos are on a roommate's camera, which, of course, I have not uploaded. No, do not weep for me, just listen to my tale.

I was excited. I confess I wanted to make something I was going to call either "Gingerbread Crack House" or "The Crazy Cat Lady Lives Here". I bought tiny gummi bears (all the better to resemble a collection of bottles with!) and real gummi bears and sour things and Pez and all the things I can't eat. But others can! And that was fine with me.

Then I started making gingerbread. I used Anna's recipe, which she got from Good Housekeeping. I picked thise one because I really like molassases. As I proved later that same night by making molassases cookies.

2 1/2 cups (500g) packed dark brown sugar
1 1/2 cups (360mL) heavy cream or whipping cream
1 1/4 cups (425g) molasses
9 1/2 cups (1663g) all-purpose flour
2 tablespoon(s) baking soda
1 tablespoon(s) ground ginger

1. In very large bowl, with wire whisk (or with an electric mixer), beat brown sugar, cream, and molasses until sugar lumps dissolve and mixture is smooth. In medium bowl, combine flour, baking soda, and ginger. With spoon, stir flour mixture into cream mixture in 3 additions until dough is too stiff to stir, then knead with hands until flour is incorporated and dough is smooth.

2. Divide dough into 4 equal portions; flatten each into a disk to speed chilling. Wrap each disk well with plastic wrap and refrigerate at least 4 hours or overnight, until dough is firm enough to roll.

3. Grease and flour large cookie sheets (17-inch by 14-inch/43x36cm)

4. Roll out dough, 1 disk at a time on each cookie sheet to about 3/16-inch thickness. (Placing 3/16-inch dowels or rulers on either side of dough to use as a guide will help roll dough to uniform thickness.)

5. Trim excess dough from cookie sheet; wrap and reserve in refrigerator. Chill rolled dough on cookie sheet in refrigerator or freezer at least 10 minutes or until firm enough to cut easily.

6. Preheat oven to 300 degrees F (149C)

7. Use chilled rolled dough, floured poster board patterns, and sharp paring knife to cut all house pieces on cookie sheet, making sure to leave at least 1 1/4 inches between pieces because dough will expand slightly during baking. Wrap and reserve trimmings in refrigerator. Combine and use trimmings as necessary to complete house and other decorative pieces. Cut and bake large pieces and small pieces separately.

8. Chill for 10 minutes before baking if the dough seems really soft after you cut it. This will discourage too much spreading/warping of the shapes you cut.

9. Bake 25 to 30 minutes, until pieces are firm to the touch. Do not overbake; pieces will be too crisp to trim to proper size.

10. Remove cookie sheet from oven. While house pieces are still warm, place poster-board patterns on top and use them as guides to trim shapes to match if necessary. Cool pieces completely before attempting to assemble the house.

I then attached the (shoddily but still tasty) pieces of my house together using a simple syrup.
Which I made simply by melting down some sugar and hoping to god that I didn't burn myself, which ended up working out, as I did not!

Then came the decorating.
I confess, I had little time to do any decorating. In fact. I left it to my roommates. If I had, I would have used this recipe for royal icing, also from the challenge.

Royal Icing:

1 large egg white
3 cups (330g) powdered sugar
1 teaspoon white vinegar
1 teaspoon almond extract

Beat all ingredients until smooth, adding the powdered sugar gradually to get the desired consistency. Pipe on pieces and allow to dry before assembling. If you aren't using it all at once you can keep it in a small bowl, loosely covered with a damp towel for a few hours until ready to use. You may have to beat it slightly to get it an even consistency if the top sets up a bit. Piped on the house, this will set up hard over time.

...I'm sure you see where this is going.
Non-complete. Enjoyed! Cheered over, even, if a little mocked. Deservedly mocked. At maybe more than a little frequency.

I take heart in that my house was constructed, at least, and then abandoned like so many projects are at times. I'll think of it as just the Chicago way to build things. Slowly, oh so slowly.

Also: take heart, this was really tasty.

Karo-who? Brown Sugar Syrup Pecan Pie.

By this point in the Feast, a nice set up and a clean stove were beyond me.
Still, I did try to take a good snap as best I could, considering it was a cell phone.

Well, I hope everyone had a delicious and fattening Thanksgiving because lord knows I did. My friend Dana and I had our Third Annual "We Trust No One Else To Cook" Thanksgiving. It involved a lot of Arrested Development, Diet Coke (esp for dana!), wine (esp for me!), cooking, and a prolonged fight with my oven which decided to be even more impossibly difficult than usual as this was a food holiday.

Also, I think the oven knew that we both worked the next day at our respective jobs.

Either way, it was unbelievably tasty. Dana made stuffing (featuring: pecans, cranberries, and sausage), mashed potatoes, a chicken, a turkey leg, gravy, and brought some tasty tasty cranberry sauce. She also steamed some green beans. I made crash sweet potatoes, whiskey glazed carrots (thanks, Pioneer Woman! don't be too sad that i used Seagram's 7 instead of Jack! it's just always around...), green bean casserole (yeah,yeah), and pecan pie.

Note: I did not make deviled eggs and, yes, I thought about it. I also did not get to make the cranberry nut bread I wanted (which I bought cranberries for! I'll get to it soon. maybe tomorrow?) or the cheesy muffins (which I actually AM planning on making tomorrow. we'll see how this day goes. always with the elaborate planning and rarely with the follow-throughing).

Double Note: Yes, I am allergic to corn syrup.

Which brings me to!

THIS IS A CORN SYRUP FREE PIE.

Yes, ladies and gents, this pie is made without Karo. Oh, they said it could be done but they swore it wouldn't be tasty. But they were wrong. This pie tastes exactly as delicious as I remember my wickedly tasty Karo-based pecan pie being. (I wasn't always as horridly allergic as I am now, but it's progressed, so I can't even cook the filing because it makes me die a little on the inside where no one can see)

My trick? Brown sugar syrup. I cooked brown sugar and water down to a thick syrup that, admittedly not as thick as Karo, was still preeeeeeeetty syrupy looking. And I chopped the walnuts nice and fine and I said a little prayer to my fourth glass of wine and I threw myself into the memory of my old pecan pie.

INGREDIENTS

- two eggs
- vanilla (a drizzle and a dash, which is probs about two teaspoons?)
- sugar, two thirds cup (about)
- brown sugar syrup, a cup (about, sorry!)
- cake spice, a teaspoon (this is made of cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg, etc. I buy mine at The Spice House)
- a knob of melted butter
- quick dash of cinnamon because, well, why not? but only just.
- pecans (mine were chopped), about two cups - or just under the bag you bought at Jewel when you thought it was on sale, but it wasn't, and you were pissed but you were making this damn pie so you got it anyway. (that's helpful, yes?)

NOTE: I used -gasp- salted butter. I know, I know, I know. But we reached a compromise here at my apartment and that involves the purchasing of salted butter. It's fine. I'm completely okay with this, even though it used to make me cringe a bit. If you don't use salted butter, I suggest adding a dash of salt.

Also. I doubt I've ever said "salted butter" that many times in a short span of time. Reminds me of how I spent actual time thinking about broken eggs in cartons at the store.

Do not get me started.

At any rate, by the time you've finished contemplating all of this, you have mixed together these things and poured it into a prepared pie dish. Really. Just chuck it all together and mix it up nicely. You can add the pecans last if it makes you feel better.

"Prepared", here, means - a lightly buttered/greased/sprayed pie pan with a crust inside. You can make your own or use frozen or the roll-out-pre-made stuff, it's all fine. I made my own. (softened butter, flour, sprinkle of water, some sugar but not much, voila!)

I do not pre-bake my crust.

Wrap some foil around the crust-edges of the pie, then pop it into the 350 degree (F) oven for a half hour. Remove the foil, bake another fifteen or twenty minutes. A knife should come out clean. Yes, it will be wobbly up until the point that it is suddenly done.

Please do not burn your mouth in the attempt to shove this pie in your face. Please. Be better than me.

At any rate, you can add whiskey or bourbon or what have you to this pie. I even suggest that. Nom.

I also suggest smallish slices and vanilla ice cream (or whipped cream) to melt on top a bit.

And I would like to apologize for the pictures. I took these with my cell phone. Um, after eating a piece. It was delicious and I have no regrets.

Brownie Pudding: An Adventure Using Boiling Water

Unbaked, but seriously still delicious.

You know those times when you just absolutely have to eat something sweet and chocolatey? And how maybe, since you have a deep, profound love for all things bread pudding (which may or may not have once ended with you throwing allergy concerns to the wind and chowing down on a serving of bread pudding from Sweet Mandy B's that involved caramel?) that sometimes means what you want is something bready and puddingy?

Of course you have. Sometimes, even, you've had it at a late hour of the day. Sometimes, you've had this craving when there is precious little in the house to sate any of your desires.

Thank goodness for my 1950's edition of The General Foods Kitchens Cookbook. I know you've heard me sing it's praises before, but I intend to continue doing so for a while. I just forgot. Well, forget no more! I had just the day before read about Brownie Pudding. And, lo, we had all the ingredients.

Bonus: the recipe called for boiling water to be poured on top of the batter, which would make a chocolate sauce. I was enthralled, skeptical, and excited. Most of all, I wanted my freshly baked, sweet, chocolatey, puddingy dessert. After this, you probably will too.

So, boiling water goes ON the batter you say? Sure. I'll try that.

The Players:
- 1/2 cup flour
- 1 tsp baking powder
- 1/3 cup sugar
- 1 tbs cocoa (or, if you were me, a little more than this of hot chocolate mix. sorry, humble women of general foods kitchens. please, don't be me about this.)
- 1/4 cup milk
- 1 tbs melted butter (mine was salted, oh sin of baking sins, but if you are doing it properly then just sprinkle in some salt.)
- 1/2 tsp vanilla
- chopped walnuts (optional or use whatever type of nuts you'd like or any other addition, actually)
- 1/2 cup brown sugar (or, if you don't have any, granulated sugar will work as well but I used brown sugar)
- 2 tbs cocoa (again, see hot chocolate mix note)
- 3/4 cup boiling water

The Game:

Mix flour, baking powder, 1/3 cup (granulated) sugar, and one tablespoon cocoa. Then add the milk, butter, and vanilla. Mix until smooth, add nuts, and pour into the greased (mine was 6x9) baking dish. Mix the brown sugar and the other two tablespoons of cocoa together then sprinkle over the batter, also sprinkle a little bit of nuts over it, and then pour the boiling water over the top. This makes a chocolate sauce at the bottome when done cooking, which is impressive to me.

Bake at 350F for thirty to forty minutes, then cool before serving (recipe suggests a half hour, I was not nearly so patient...).

It smells even better than it looks, trust.

We loved this hot, we loved this cold, and I particularly loved this with the fridge door partially open scarfing down a couple bites because maybe I had to bolt out the door to work in absolutely no time at all.

The point is, it was always delicious. And you will likely love it.

Bread Pudding? Or Baked Crack? Take your pick.

I am seriously addicted to bread pudding these days, it's insane. I've done a fair few different versions of it lately - including a croissant one from Nigella that started the madness. Now I am mostly just trying to perfect a basic one, but have been playing around with my own recipe plenty.

I did a bread pudding lately with some chocolate (and, had I not used unsweetened, maybe I would be willing to suggest it but no. though, you know, my friends still loved it). Luckily the flaws in it were only my thoughts and the fruit topping I made for it was sweet and delicious.

It's such a simple and homey dish, super comfy, and absolutely delicious. I have eaten some it straight from the dish, fridge door still open, hoping no one catches me. I have witnessed people eat half a baking dish in one sitting. I have eaten it before it is even cooked, just bits of soaked bread, before finally submitting to the logic of cooking it.

I am so in love with bread pudding.

DELICIOUS CRACK BREAD PUDDING

- bread, torn up, ideally a bit stale but really this is negotiable. I have used french bread and rolls and things. I intend to try it soon with challah, among other things. Maybe cinnamon raisin?
- eggs (two or three, I'm of the more-is-better school of thought, but base this off the cream)
- heavy cream (one of the small cardboard containers, which is around a cup?)
- I often also throw in some milk, which is usually skim but that's just because that is what I have and anyway - all cream is awesome. Or whole milk. Don't constrain yourselves on my account.
- vanilla, a few tsps or to taste.
- sugar, not quite a cup - try a half cup and see
- knob of butter - not half a stick.

I have also added a little honey or some brown sugar. Cinnamon was an amazing addition.

What you do is you chuck the cream and butter together and stir until mixed over a low heat. Turn off burner and whisk the eggs in, one at a time, fast and well so as to not end up with cooked egg. You may want to let the cream-butter cool a bit first to do this. Or you may be on a crunch and just need to whip the hell out of this.

Add sugar, vanilla, and milk if you realize you need more. Any other flavors or any less flavors is fine, as far as additives go (you happen to not like vanilla or be, like my poor friend, allergic? move along - get a different flavor). Whisk whisk whisk. Taste it, die of delight. Try to not drink straight from the pot.

Seriously. Do try.

Now, your torn up bread ought to be hanging about in a baking dish. Pour this custard-y mix over it and move them around so that each bit gets some. Let this sit for a bit until soaked and then eat a piece. A small one. Go ahead, you want to.

Put this in an oven at 350 and then cook for around thirty-five minutes. Check on it, you may want the top more or less browned. Let the dish chill out for a bit so as to a) let it really set (it gets a little bubbly straight from the oven) and b) not scald your mouth, you impatient thing.

ENJOY. Cold or warm, by itself or with a topping, however you like.



AMAZING FRUIT TOPPING

- fruit, fresh and sliced (I used pears and strawberries, respectively)
- butter (a little more than a tablespoon but you'll see)
- sugar, mostly to taste.

In a pot or even pan, on the stove, cook the fruit with the butter and then add sugar.This doesn't take terribly long and you'll know how soft you want your topping. I think I cooked mine for about fifteen minutes. It's insane.

To the pear, I added some mint.

To the strawberries, I ate it on everything ever.

Seriously, I am delighted with this. Hope you guys enjoy it!

Koulourakias or a cookie from my past.

Woosh, it has been insanely busy around my life lately. Getting a spare moment to myself has been nigh impossible - I traveled out of town, to Ohio, for a wedding and visited people, I moved, I wallowed in despair, I got a job, and I even worked a few days of it! But in the midst of all this, I still had time to make koulourakias - Greek butter cookies - for Pascha (Eastern Orthodox Easter).

I was raised Greek Orthodox (and Russian Orthodox, later) despite the fact that my family is neither Greek nor Russian. Depending on which church we went to, Christmas was either on, you know, Christmas or it was on Jan 7. But the one thing that both churches shared was the fact that Easter is (almost) always one week or one month after the Western Easter. This year, it was a week later.

Anyway. My godmother was from Greece - we met her when my family joined the church, I was young - somewhere around fourth grade - and while my brother had found a god-family relatively quickly, they didn't want a girl and so I was adrift. Georgia offered to be my godmother and lo! I had a godmother and a yiayia (her mother, who spoke absolutely no English at all and would pat my hand and say something to me and I would smile and say "yes, yiayia" but I have no idea what she said...). At any rate, Georgia would make koulouriakias for me each Pascha. I loved them.

I'm not religious, I haven't been for a long time, but each Pascha I get a little nostalgic. Georgia died when I was in high school, she had cancer. I'd never made these cookies and she didn't teach me how, but I am telling you that these taseted exactly how I remembered.

Koulourakia!

- one stick butter, softened
- half cup of sugar
- two eggs, beaten until light
- grated orange peel (original recipe suggested a teaspoon, but I did a little more)
- half tablespoon baking powder
- two cups flour

- combine flour and baking powder
- in a seperate bowl, cream the butter and sugar, then slowly add the beaten eggs and the orange zest. Add the flour/baking powder mixture slowly. You will get a soft dough.
- shape the cookies by taking sections and rolling them first into a ball (walnut sized) and then out into ropes that you can braid together or twist into a circle or spiral or, you know, really anything.
- I put mine on foil on a cookie sheet, then brushed the tops with some beaten egg and baked at 375 degrees for around twenty minutes - until the cookies were golden!

I did a few batches at different cook times, but was pleased with all of them. Twenty minutes gets a bit harder cookie, but you can play until you figure out what you like. This makes a fair few cookies.

And oh, how I loved them. Everyone loved them! I hope you love them too.

(yes, there are many different variations on this cookie - some have vanilla, some have sesame seeds, and I love sesame seeds! I've had them with sesame and I think they are delish. But this is how Georgia must have made them, cause this is how they tasted.)

Insanely Delicious Brownies

Okay, my camera is still awful and it's mostly my fault since I've done little to try and fix it. For shame, for shame!

Still. This hasn't stopped me from cooking and won't stop me from posting. I made lazy lazy fish sticks dinner the other night, which was basically sponsored by frozen food (but also included some homemade mac-and-cheese) and to top off the cuteness of the whole meal, I had these out of this world brownies that I had made that morning. You know those mornings where you wake up and realize that you've been wanting to try your hand at something for ages and get right to it?

Yes, you do. Easily done when you are unemployed (still! still!!) but the idea here is the same for anyone.

I had this experience. I had been gazing at a brownie recipe for ages in my much-beloved Jamie Oliver cookbook. I'd even gone so far as to pick up walnuts and dried dark sweet cherries for it, but it had been long enough that I never really thought about it and pretty much had eaten half of the dried cherries just as delicious snacking treats. So healthy! You wouldn't know it from this recipe, but I do put in a good effort in being healthy.

At any rate, rather than post a poorly done picture of my brownies, I didn't. You've seen brownies. You know how it goes.

Jamie Oliver's Fifteen Chocolate Brownies

- one cup plus two tablespoons unsalted butter
- seven oz dark chocolate, broken up (mine was part of a large bar of a semi-sweet chocolate)
- 2 1/2 oz dried sour cherries (optional) (I used dried dark sweet cherries)
- 1 1/3 oz chopped nuts (optional)
- 3/4 cup cocoa powder (mine was a dark cocoa)
- 1/2 cup flour
- one teaspoon baking powder
- 1 3/4 cup sugar
- four large eggs

NOTE: In addition to the changes I mentioned, the original recipe suggests some great things such as superfine sugar and organic eggs. That sort of thing. I do not have these things, but i'm sure they would make things all the better. He also suggests orange zest mixed into a bit of creme fraiche for serving, which I also didn't do. Although I did involve some vanilla ice cream.

At any rate, pre-heat the oven to 350 degrees. I buttered my baking pan a little, but the original recipe suggests lining it with wax paper. Melt the butter and chocolate together in a bowl over simmering water. You know the kind, the rigged up pot/pan double boiler way. Or if you are fancy, have at the double boiler. When they are melted, mix until smooth and then add the cherries and nuts if you are using them. Mix together.

In a seperate bowl, mix the cocoa powder, flour, baking powder, and sugar. Mix this together with the chocolate mixture, stirring together well, and then mix in beaten eggs until you have a silky consistency. You should eat some, just so can enjoy the deliciousness.

Pour the batter into the pan, then bake for about twenty-five minutes. Be careful not to overcook them - they should still be a little gooey in the middle although the brownies will be a little springy.

Now, I pulled out my brownies pretty much at the twenty-fine minute mark and they were maybe slightly too undercooked. This, however, did not stop me from eating them. The more-towards-the-middle brownies had a very gooey center. If this is your style, then have at because oh man was it awesome, but if you like them more cooked then I say go for it.

Seriously, these things were bangerang. (you know, bangerang! like in Hook!) Everyone pretty much ate the shit out of them. You know. Scarf, die of delight, scarf.

Bacon Chocolate Cookies: Take One.

Oh, bacon. Is there anything you can't do?

I never tried the Vosges bacon bar or, really, any sweet taste with a crispy bacon undertone. It wasn't even that I missed the boat, I just never got around to meandering by the lake. I'm pretty sure if somehow bacon and sesame chips came into existence together, I would have shoved someone out of the way to get it in my hands like one of those desperate girls who will take your eye out if you get between her and the wedding boquet. But they didn't, so I didn't, and I went on just eating bacon in things like...a plate of bacon, a turkey burger, or an Elvis sandwhich.

This brings me to the point where I promise to make and document an Elvis sandwhich for your viewing pleasure soon. Ish. My camera is out of battery power and, well, I can't find my batteries and refuse to spend money on some when I *know* that I have them. Oh, it's so frustrating. Money! Unemployment! No time for batteries!

This is not the point and I apologize for getting so far off track. I promise, I will do it again. It's in my nature.

I decided today that I wanted to check out this new trend that isn't actually new anymore, as far as I can tell. Frying up my bacon, it was sort of a "one for the cookie dough, one for me..." game planned in advance. A good thing, seeing as how I ended up eating a good bit of the bacon when I was hacking it all up for the cookie. I was using a recipe from The Culinary Sherpas and I halved it, but did add some extra vanilla. (see link for the recipe)

I am not my poor, allergic friend. I love vanilla. I also love cinnamon! Just so you know, in case you ever want to get me something delicious.

At any rate, it went well. Which is good! Because I have a confession.

...when I make cookies? I usually somehow misstep and they, well, they melt.I get a mass of tasty cookie mess, not a bunch of cookies. My gingerbread men? Gingerbread puddle. People like it fine enough, but I don't usually make cookies. I'm hard on myself. Oldest Child Syndrome, maybe?

If I wanted to show you a picture, though, I would google search terms like "no, there are no nuts in here, how strange" and "people looking skeptical and then vowing to give me their first born".

I've also stashed some of the dough in a container (cleverly labeled YOGURT bwa ha ha!) in order to see if it is true. Does cookie dough that hangs out in my fridge taste better after some wait time?

The Great Bacon Cookie Experiment will continue. There may be pictures.

Even if they are just pictures of me and my friends, laughing, from older times.

PS: I suggest enjoying this decidedly not vegan snack with a glass of milk. I'm just saying. I'm out of milk, but imagine it would be awesome.

Flourless Chocolate Valentino Cake and Vanilla Ice Cream

The February 2009 challenge is hosted by Wendy of WMPE's blog and Dharm of Dad ~ Baker & Chef.
We have chosen a Chocolate Valentino cake by Chef Wan; a Vanilla Ice Cream recipe from Dharm and a Vanilla Ice Cream recipe from Wendy as the challenge.

Chocolate Valentino
Preparation Time: 20 minutes
16 ounces (1 pound) (454 grams) of semisweet chocolate, roughly chopped
½ cup (1 stick) plus 2 tablespoons (146 grams total) of unsalted butter
5 large eggs separated

1. Put chocolate and butter in a heatproof bowl and set over a pan of simmering water (the bottom of the bowl should not touch the water) and melt, stirring often.
2. While your chocolate butter mixture is cooling. Butter your pan and line with a parchment circle then butter the parchment.
3. Separate the egg yolks from the egg whites and put into two medium/large bowls.
4. Whip the egg whites in a medium/large grease free bowl until stiff peaks are formed (do not over-whip or the cake will be dry).
5. With the same beater beat the egg yolks together.
6. Add the egg yolks to the cooled chocolate.
7. Fold in 1/3 of the egg whites into the chocolate mixture and follow with remaining 2/3rds. Fold until no white remains without deflating the batter. {link of folding demonstration}
8. Pour batter into prepared pan, the batter should fill the pan 3/4 of the way full, and bake at 375F/190C
9. Bake for 25 minutes until an instant read thermometer reads 140F/60C.
Note – If you do not have an instant read thermometer, the top of the cake will look similar to a brownie and a cake tester will appear wet.
10. Cool cake on a rack for 10 minutes then unmold.

I used a different pan (these really cute little bundt pans, actually, that my mother sent me for xmas) than a heart shaped pan. I'm also a little sure that I whipped the egg whites a bit too much but the cake was still tasty.

The ice cream was killer though. Oh man.

I don't have an ice cream maker, so I just used a bowl and my freezer. I briefly considered the old kick-the-can method of my Girl Scout days, but probably made the right choice as far as Chicago and weather goes. Also, since the challenge allowed us to choose our own ice cream recipe I used a Jamie Oliver custard recipe.

I love him. I really, really do.



- 2 cups plus 3 tablespoons whole milk
- 2 cups heavy cream
- six tablespoons sugar (Jamie suggests superfine, but I again ignored this)
- vanilla (honestly, I forget how much I used, but it was delicious. the book says to use a vanilla bean.)
- eight egg yolks

Mix the cream, milk, four tablespoons sugar, vanilla bean and seeds in a pan. Bring to the boiling point and then remove from the heat and let cool slightly.

Seperately, whisk the yolks with two tablespoons of sugar until pale. If you used the vanilla bean, take it out of the mixture. Slowly, you will pour the milk mixture into the egg yolk/sugar blend in bits. Whisk immediately, making sure that the first bit is mixed well before adding the next one. Pour the mixture back in the warm pan and cook gently for a few mins, constantly stirring. I used a wooden spoon and when the custard was thick and shiny, I made sure it could coat the back of my spoon.

I was really worried I was going to accidentally scramble it, but I snatched it off the heat and let it get cold. I then stuck it (in the bowl, not the pan) into the freezer. I mixed it every twenty minutes for a few hours, but mine started to set pretty quickly and from the living room, it was obvious how well I was doing as the more like ice cream it looked the more I cheered.

All in all, this was super fun and not too stressful. I love low stress levels.Delicious food for me, vanilla-less cake for my poor vanilla-challenged friend, and an excuse to do another Jamie Oliver recipe. (note: his ice cream/custard comes from Cook with Jamie and everyone. everyone. everyone. should buy this.)

Delicious Chocolate Cupcakes

Among my friends, I became the person who makes cupcakes. I make a lot of things and I am also celebrated for things like my pot stickers and everyone knows how much I love cooking and food and that sort of thing, but really? I became a cupcake girl. I bake them fairly often (usually) and always make batches for my friends on their birthday (they give me a flavor or an idea or something) and I even once supplied a massive amount of cupcakes for a fundraiser.

So. Yes. I make delicious cupcakes. I've got a vanilla cupcake recipe that I finally really nailed, but I've not got the photos so I'm not sharing it right now. Instead I will share the chocolate cupcake recipe from cupcakes I made.. They were so delicious that two days later, I had to make another batch (and this time, tried to take actual measurements! all for you guys! because there could be people reading this, who knows?) and those are ALSO already nearly gone. For those keeping score at home, that is twenty-seven cupcakes in not even five days.

In defense of my roommate and myself, I have to confess that other people have eaten these. And then those people? Came back for more.

So what makes this cupcake so delicious? You tell me.

- one cup flour
- 3/4 cup sugar (and then a little more, but not a whole cup)
- 1/3 cup cocoa powder (ish. i admit, i usually just shake it until it looks right. i used starbucks.)
- two eggs
- a pinch of baking powder
- one stick melted butter
- somewhere between 1/4 and 1/2 cup of milk
- quick dash of salt (i shook the shaker twice, but our shaker is smallish)

Mix the flour, sugar, cocoa powder, and baking powder, and salt together. Add melted butter and mix. Add eggs, mix some more, and finally mix in the milk. The batter is very light and almost fluffy. You can add in chocolate chips or some such if you'd really like to (and the first time, i did!)

Put the cupcake liners (cups? skins? i call them skins. i don't know.) in your pan and put large spoonfuls of batter in each one. Not all the way full, but more like 3/4 full. Cook them at 350 F in the oven for about twenty to twenty-five minutes. When a toothpick comes out clean, you'll know they are done even if they look a little darker in the center. I thought some of them weren't finished, but they were. Go figure.

Now, some of my cupcakes fell a little and I'm not sure why exactly as many of them did not, but know it was entirely my fault in how I put batter in but regardless, all are delicious.

Note: you could add vanilla, I'm sure, or even something spicy. I left vanilla out when I made this because it was for a friend who is allergic to vanilla.

I feel so bad for this friend. She's allergic to basil, pine, sweet peppers, and about a thousand other things as well. It's very hard. We once found a pound cake that neither of us were allergic to. I won't tell you how quickly we ate it because, honestly, you very likely do not want to know. We were just so happy! Happy and full.

Now! On to the frosting! I made a delicious vanilla (sorry, my friend did not get the same frosting.) cream cheese frosting.

- a half stick of butter (softened)
- a packet of cream cheese
- 1 1/2 or 2 cups powdered sugar
- vanilla (one teaspoon, though maybe two)

I blended the butter and cream cheese together and then added powdered sugar, a little at a time, until I was pleased with the consistency. Add vanilla and mix, making sure it is smooth and delicious. I don't even think about what I am doing when I make this frosting, so, trying to remember measurements doesn't really go so well for me. But you know what looks and tastes like frosting.

When the cupcakes are cool, you should frost them and eat them. You should also hide some from your friends because if they are like mine, they will quietly take a few to go each time they see them.